Sunday, March 2, 2008

In an instant

Isn't it crazy how in an instant your whole world can change. In an instant, fortune can be dropped in your lap. In an instant, the bottom can fall out. All it takes is one instant.

I am sitting here, trying to make sense out of what one of my very dearest friends is going through, right now. Right this instant. I can't. It doesn't make sense! I don't have any answers. I can't make it better, no one can. She simply has to walk, one foot in front of the other. She can stop for a moment, but she can't stop forever. She must keep walking, but how do you take those steps?

How do you go home to a nursery, full of clothes and blankets, diapers and lotions, and every other thing a baby could ever want. More than a baby can ever need. More love than can be given. How do you do that when your hands are empty?

I lost a baby when I was 18 weeks pregnant. It is the deepest kind of empty I have ever felt. It is the deepest pain I have ever walked through. God has blessed me with an abundance of joy since that time...more than I could have ever asked for. I can declare that He is faithful and He is good. Even when the entire world is upside down, He is still the same. He does not change, He does not shift. When nothing else makes sense I can rest in who He is.

Maybe I represented hope when I sat in the room and cried with her. Maybe I represented strength, a person on the other side who can testify that she will get through. Maybe I represented comfort for her as I hugged her and prayed for her. But I pray that I represented Love, even when Love is hard and doesn't make sense. For He is Love and that does not change. Please keep praying for my dear friend. Pray for every step of the process.

1 comment:

the bryans said...

Your friend is blessed to have you in her life. We are praying for them.