Dreaming...Hoping...Satisfying

God has been whispering this sweet truth in my ear over the past few days. It is the truth that He will be my satisfaction and my dreams! Dreams are good, they give hope for the future. I love to have dreams, ideas, plans, desires. They give me purpose.
I was at church on Sunday and we were singing the song titled Lord, reign in me. I was singing along and we got to the part that says:

Lord reign in me
Reign in your power
Over all my dreams
In my darkest hour
You are the Lord
Of all I am
So won't you reign in me again.

We have sang the lyrics to this song many times, but something hit me different this time. See how it says over all my dreams...it has been a process but as I make my often pitiful attempt to follow Him and give myself to Him, He changes me. He takes away desires and replaces them with Himself and He breathes new life into my dreams. As I sang that I had to stop for a minute and just be. I was overwhelmed by the weight of the Lord working in my life, changing me, shaping me.

The sermon was on Psalm 103. We kind of skipped passed the verse that just jumped off the pages at me. Here is part of the Psalm:

Praise the LORD, O my soul;
all my inmost being, praise his holy name.
Praise the LORD, O my soul,
and forget not all his benefits-
who forgives all your sins
and heals all your diseases,
who redeems your life from the pit
and crowns you with love and compassion,
who satisfies your desires with good things
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.

See the part about satisfying your desires with good things and renewing your youth. God whispered to me again...I will be your satisfaction and your dreams. It has been a journey over the past 5 years or so, but I have true joy, true hope, and true purpose that has come from knowing my Lord. I have excitement and hope in regards to what the future holds, the unknown path that the Lord has for me and my family. The one that will satisfy my desires with him and keep me young and energetic as I look forward to the work the Lord has for me. The opportunity to be a part of the bigger picture.

Last night was our Perspectives class and the Speaker (who was a seminary professor from DTS) walked us through the story of the Bible. Not the many separate stories, but the big picture the main point of the entire book together.from Genesis to Revelation. He then invited us be a part of the story. To participate in the mission of the Master to bring Glory to Himself. We already know the ending. We know He is Victorious. Is there anything else truly worthy of my time? I want to be a part, how about you? I desire to see how the Lord will continue to satisfy my desires and renew my youth as I attempt to accept the privilege to play a part in HIS STORY!

Our Ever-Evolving Living Room

We bought this house nearly 4 years ago. When we bought it the living room had this wall of windows with these wooden shutters. I like all the windows because they give some extra light and I even liked the shutters, but I thought they made the room look stiff and hard, not warm and inviting. I knew they needed something but curtains are so expensive and I can't sew! We lived with them like this for over a year.

Then I painted my entry way to look like this...

I LOVE the way it looks! It is one of my favorite spots in the house. Once I did this I knew I would eventually paint the living room and I would probably use one of these tan colors to do it. Shortly after that I found these panels at Target for $15 each that I thought would look good whenever I finally painted the room. I bought 4 and hung them up. I didn't love it but it was an improvement and I didn't know what else to do so they stayed. (BTW- I forgot to take a picture before I already had taken down 2 panels so this is the best I could do).

Since that time I have met the Nester (OK, I haven't really met her but I stalk her). She has inspired me to do more. I finally painted the room that tan color. Then I went to the 50% off sale at Hancock and I found brown fabric for $6.00 a yard. This is what I did with it.

Now if you are wondering how I did this without sewing you need to spend some more time over at the Nester's blog. I followed her mistreatment tips and hot glued it on. Then I went back with some fun trim and covered up the mess. These are BY NO MEANS perfect! I eyeballed the lines across and some of them are just not straight, but I am OK with that and I think it is a HUGE improvement. I hung the curtains high like the Nester suggests and I let them puddle on the floor.

It has been a nearly 4 year process (in my defense I have had my 2nd and 3rd babies during that time), but I think the ever evolving process has been worth it. I have a few more ideas for this room, but they are much smaller projects. I am finding myself very excited about the fact that this room is finally beginning to look like I want it to.

Watch Out, It's A ...

Did you know that it is possible for a fire hydrant to be completely knocked to the ground and for no water to come out? Look, I even have proof.


How would I know that you ask? Well, it is embarrassing but true...I am the one who knocked it over. It was actually on my to my grandmothers funeral. It was 7:45 at night on Wednesday. I was in Forney on my way to Dallas and my gas light came on. I exited and went to Walmart to fill up. I really have no excuse but it was raining and I just did not see it. Traci was with me and she gasped or maybe she yelled my name right before I hit it. I also had all three of the kids who were all OK, but a little frightened for the moment. We had to tow the van and call my mom to come get us. Because of the ridiculous # of people traveling with me my aunt and uncle had to come also. Luckily they had a strip of restaurants in the parking lot so we walked down to chick-fil-A to wait. It was the perfect start to the already stressful few days. Here is a picture of the car.


The next day my brother blew a tire on the interstate and had to go buy new tires and when we were all getting ready to go to visitation my sister-in-law discovered she forgot her clothes. We left for visitation and they headed to buy something for her to wear. Things just couldn't be simple could they? Oh well, we all survived and have lived to tell about it. The service was just a graveside service, but it was nice and at the visitation time they had a photo slide show of my grandmother that they played several times. It was a really nice and special touch. Thanks for your kind thoughts and prayers.



BTW - yesterday was the first time I have had to get gas since the wreck and Rebecca kept telling me to be really careful and not to hit a fire hydrant again. So now I get safety tips form my 3 year old.

The First Day of Kindergarten

Today was the big day! Aidan started Kindergarten today and surprisingly I have been OK. I have teared up several times, but I think I have held it together quite well. That may be partially because I have stayed very busy all day long, but I truly believe that this is a testament to the Lord and his provision of strength. I have struggled with feeling like I haven't done all I could do to get Aidan ready for school. I have had to pray through this and work through these feelings and self doubt. That being said, it was truly a gift from the Lord to see my Aidan boldly walk into his new school undaunted. It may seem like a small thing to many of you but Aidan tends to be shy when strangers speak to him and this morning we crossed the street with the crosswalk who said a generic hello and asked how everyone was doing. It was one of those times that it was spoken to so many people that it would be acceptable to not even respond, but in this case my sweet Aidan was the only one of the group (adults included) to look at that lady and say he was doing good. It was such an encouragement to me to see that confidence coming out of my baby. I was able to leave him in his class truly believing that he was going to be just fine and as I sit and type now I trust that the Lord has been with him all day long. He is so faithful! Here are some pictures of my little man this morning:

And this is when he was telling me he had had enough and he wanted to just go inside already.

And this is the way he looked when I left him this morning. It sure made it easier to leave.

Then when I picked Aidan up the very first words he said to me in the car were mom, this school is FUN! Here came the tears, although I tried to hide them from the kids with my glasses. They were not tears of sadness but happiness and relief. He had a fabulous day! He loved it. I have prayed about this transition for months and although I know we will still all have to get used to it, today has been good and Lord deserves all the glory for that. When we got home Rebecca and I had a surprise waiting for Aidan. Here it is:

We sat at the table together, ate cake and listened to Aidan talk about school. When I asked him what was the best part he simply said ALL OF IT. I couldn't ask for a better response.

The Night Before Kindergarten

It is the night before I send my Aidan off to school. I cannot believe that He will be in Kindergarten! Is he really old enough for that? I can't believe it. It seems like only yesterday I was bringing him home from the hospital, terrified that I was going to do something wrong. He was so sweet and so dependent on me to care for him and I could just hold him and look at him for hours. It almost felt overwhelming to realize how much he needed me to care for him and now I am sending him to school and I will be away from him for most of the day.

We have done all the right things to get ready for school. His clothes are picked out (I teared up a bit just picking out his clothes) and ready to be put on. Breakfast selections have been made. The lunch is packed and his supplies are waiting by the door. I have worked on earlier bedtimes and early mornings. We read a special book called the night before Kindergarten. We have talked about school and all those things, but I don't really feel ready.

I think the biggest thing is that we are entering a new stage in our life, in our parenting. I have been told over and over that once they hit school age time just flies by. I am grasping to slow it down, but that doesn't seem to be working. I don't know exactly what lies ahead for Trace and I as parents, for Aidan as he grows and changes, or for our family I just keep reminding my self that the Lord is with me always...I don't have to be afraid. I can walk into the unknown and trust that I will be OK because I know the one who has NO UNKNOWNS! I know the one who formed Aidan and knew the number of hairs he had on his head before I even dreamed about what he would be like. I know the one who loves Aidan even more than I could ever love him. I know the one who is trustworthy. I will hold onto that as I drop Aidan off at school. I will probably shed many tears, but I will cling to these truths while every tear falls.

I picked up some Bath and Body Works apple scented lotion and soap to give to Aidan's teacher and I wrote her a little note. This is what it says:

Dear Mrs. Rayon,
I have spent the last several months attempting to prepare to send my first baby to Kindergarten. For some reason the fact that you will spend more waking hours with my son during the week has been a hard pill for me to swallow, I have to admit that I am a tiny bit jealous and somewhat sad. So tonight I sit in a quiet house realizing that tomorrow is a huge day for me to learn a little bit about loosening my grip and trusting that everything will be OK.

In the morning I will walk Aidan into your classroom and you will be their to give a friendly greeting and make him feel comfortable as he tells mommy goodbye for much of the day. I have grieved this change and very likely will continue to, but somewhere along the way I had this realization that this is not only a big deal for me, but a mighty job, a high calling for you. I cannot thank you enough for being there to greet my baby, to teach my baby, and to invest in my baby as well as so many other kids. You are not just partnering with me to teach him academically, but socially, emotionally, and behaviorally. I pray that this truly does prove to be a partnership. I commit to praying for you throughout the year. I will gladly come alongside you as we work together this year. So I will thank you in advance for being strong when I feel weak and afraid. I thank you for all the time and energy you have already put in to this year and will continue to invest during the year. Thank you especially for being willing to invest, care for, comfort, and teach my Aidan.

Sincerely,
Christa

I am off to bed to get some sleep before the BIG day. Don't worry first day pictures will come very soon.

An update

Wow! I have been a very bad blogger lately. This may just be the longest I have ever gone between a post. I have been very busy trying to paint our living room and now get our home back into some type of order. I still have to paint the wooden blinds and rehang them, plus I have some work to do on our curtains and then they will be rehung. Whenever I am finally done with all of that I will post pictures. I also have pictures from our family trip to the Villages water park that we made to celebrate the end of summer that will be coming soon...I know, I know the suspense is KILLING you (note: tons of sarcasm), but you will just have to wait until I have more time.

We found out yesterday that my grandmother passed away, We knew it was coming and she has had hospice coming in for several weeks. However, the finality is always hard and seems sudden. My mother is a school teacher so we are thankful that this all happened before the new school year started and she will probably be back to greet her kids on the first day. My older brother Jason (also a teacher/coach) has been so fantastic during all of this and he has been with my mom the entire time. He was with them when she passed away and has helped make all the arrangements. I am so thankful that he was able to do this with her. I can't imagine my mother having to do it all alone. I decided it was best to stay back since where I go 3 little ones also go and that is not always helpful. Jason (if you even read this), I cannot thank you enough! You have always had such a big heart and you are so dependable when we need you! I thank God that he gave me you as a big brother!

I was able to go to Dallas several weeks ago and see my grandmother, which was good. I took the kids with me for one last visit. It was a little hard to leave and say goodbye because it was the first time I have had an experience like that when I knew that would likely be the last time I saw her, but I thank the Lord for that last visit, that last kiss, and the last time to say I love you. It does help give me peace. Well, I just wanted to update quickly and let everyone know I am still here and I do plan to reenter the blogosphere soon. Here a few pictures from our last visit. Please keep my family in your prayers over the next few days...especially my mother and Pete, my 97 year old step grandfather.

Our Chore Chart

We started a chore system last week. I can easily feel overwhelmed with the daily tasks so I decided now is a good time to really start training the kids in regards to helping around the house. Aidan has 5 chores and Rebecca has 3( I wasn't planning on giving Rebecca any yet, but she was so eager to show me how she too could make her bed that I decided to include her). They are pretty simple things, but it is a start and I have explained that they will change as they master the current tasks. And another big part of it is completing the task without complaining or whining about it which can be a big problem at our house. Here is a picture of our blank chore chart.

Everything is Velcro so that it can easily be changed. I have pictures that prompt the written chore so that they can easily see and know what they are supposed to do. Aidan's chores include making his bed, getting dressed, brushing teeth, cleaning his room at the end of the day, and unloading the silverware part of the dishwasher (minus any sharp knives). Rebecca has to make her bed, brush her teeth, and clean up at the end of the day. Aidan can do many of these things, he just tends to whine while doing them, so that is what we are trying to master. Also, with school starting soon, I am hoping this will help him to get dressed and ready with a good attitude.

And this what the chart looked like after the completion of week one. I left a row on the bottom that I can use to reward the kids for being helpful around the house by doing things they are not required to do. We have small velcro stickers that they can put on the chart when they are finished with the chore. I have had to get used to looking at beds that are not perfectly made, but they do look like an effort was made and I did not have to do it!

We decided to give the kids a nickel for every sticker they receive. I am praying that we will be able to begin teaching the kids about saving, tithing, and spending through this. We will see how this works, but for week one I have had beds made before they even leave there room and very little complaining about cleaning, dressing, and brushing teeth. We will see if it lasts.